we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
