Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
