But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
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he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
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And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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