If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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