I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Naked. naked and bneed help.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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