I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
