So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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