How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
