Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
