What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
