bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
