Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
