exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often