I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.