My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
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Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
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I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?