R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
