So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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