pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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