Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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