Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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