well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
