oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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