Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
only you would photoshop your dick
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
