I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
did i walk over a car last night?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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