i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
