This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Randomize
