If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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