He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
