sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
