Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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