Those balls look pretty dangerous.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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