i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
