better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
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Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
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Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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