Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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