Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
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It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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