Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
