I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
