If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
