Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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