You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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