If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think i have two assholes
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
