all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
