Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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