Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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