Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
