She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
