I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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