Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
