it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
