their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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