Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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