making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
