Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
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i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
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Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?