Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
