bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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