I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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